Grandma Betty passed away on March 13, 2008. She is finally at peace and finally with mom. She took my mom's passing so hard, we all did, but Grandma took it especially hard. My mom worked for the Little America Hotel in Wyoming as a janitor. Grandma took her jacket everywher with her, to the hospital, to Pam's, everywhere. She would not let it out of her sight.
Well, they are finally together again and probably fighting. which is only right.
I cannot begin to put into words how much I miss the both of you. The two most important women in my life are now gone. As I sit hear crying and missing them both more than I can stand, I find some solace in the fact that you are together again.
Grandma would say after my mom died, that Debbie was not dead, but now truly alive. There are times that I remember this and try to keep this in mind. Times like now, when I hurt so much inside, that I could cry for the rest of my life. Times that I cannot believe that God took both of them from me. Sometimes I almost forget that mom is gone, which is crazy, I know. It's like she has been out of town for five months and just forgot to call me. I never knew I could miss someone so much.
Since Grandma has died, all of the old emotions of my mom's death have been re-newed. All of the pain and suffering I have dealt with, are back. All of the emotions that I thought I had dealt with are born again. I know I will get thru this, but it will take time, lots and lots of time. And how much, I don't know.
Grandma would say after my mom died, that Debbie was not dead, but now truly alive. There are times that I remember this and try to keep this in mind. Times like now, when I hurt so much inside, that I could cry for the rest of my life. Times that I cannot believe that God took both of them from me. Sometimes I almost forget that mom is gone, which is crazy, I know. It's like she has been out of town for five months and just forgot to call me. I never knew I could miss someone so much.
Since Grandma has died, all of the old emotions of my mom's death have been re-newed. All of the pain and suffering I have dealt with, are back. All of the emotions that I thought I had dealt with are born again. I know I will get thru this, but it will take time, lots and lots of time. And how much, I don't know.
Grandma and Mom - where ever you are right now, please watch over me and the rest of the family that are mourning your losses tonight and every night. Please mend my broken heart and help me to stay strong. Some days I wish I could have gone right along with you, but I could not. I am here to raise my family and my daughters that need me, but don't forget that I need you too. I am so broken in half right now, that I need all of the strength I can get. I miss you both soooo much. It hurts so much that you are both gone. I love you both and miss you more than even I can stand. Stay with me and keep me strong.
Janda
2 comments:
Janda,
You have done an awesome job at keeping Mom and Grandma alive, it has been hard for me to go to the blogs and see them. But I have finally gotten the courage and wanted you to know how wonderful it is to see it. I love you more then words can express.
Mom.... Grandma... Together, finally... the way it should be.
Cryssy - I am so glad you finally checked it out. I know it is hard to read the sad posts, but it has really helped me to heal and get the tears and anger out. Love you too!! I am so glad we are re-connecting. God knows how much I missed my best friend, I love you too sissy!!
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