Just my ramblings...

Hi Momma ~

I wish I had some new photos to add, or something really profound to say, but I don't. I just have my sorrowful memories and again that nagging dis - belief that you are really and honestly gone.

What would have been your 52nd birthday is fast approaching and instead of sending you a home made card from the girls and their latest and greatest picture this year, I will be visiting your grave - site and bringing flowers. I won't get to call you a day late and say, dammit, I missed the big day. What fun things did you do?

It still hurts so much to face the fact and realization that you are truly gone from this earth. I cannot believe that it has almost been six months since we lost you.

Life is a funny thing, a cruel joke sometimes. It gives us the most wonderful and important people, then takes them away. I was not ready to lose you, nor was anyone else. Yet while you were here, I took you for granted. Thinking that I would never have to face the day that you would be gone, that you would be gone from my life forever.

I am most mad because your grand - daughters did not get to know what a wonderful grandmother you were. I will make sure to tell them all of the wonderful memories and stories, but it's not the same as knowing first hand.

It's late and I am bawling (as usual) as I write this message. I want to end this by again telling the world how much I miss your sweet laughter over the phone, you complaining about Grandma's latest encounter with her bull - whip and the town crazy. I cannot wait for the day that we are re-united. I miss you both so much, I can't stand it.

I look at these two beautiful girls that Dan and I have been blessed with and I can't imagine a day in my life with out them. My family is what keeps me strong and keeps me going, and I learned this from you. Mom. You taught me to never give up, to fight for what I believe in, and how to love. I love you and miss you soooo much. Please bless over this broken heart of mine and watch over us this night.

Love you always and forever, Janda...